Welcome To My Messy Home

You know how you're supposed to clean the house when you got company coming over? You dust corners you haven't touched in months. Make sure the bathroom is clean and has a fresh roll of toilet paper. Wash every dish and wipe off the counters. You may simply throw everything in closets and light a scented candle. Whatever you do, you want your guests to be welcomed to a clean, functional environment. Plus, you don't want to be judged. Your mama's instructions to clean before receiving guests is good advice. I, however, did not follow that advice when it comes to this blog.

My website is a mess. There are pictures I do not like. Links that don't work. Copy that is no longer applicable. Why, then, have I been publishing and posting? Why not wait until the website is done?

Second question first. I have no idea when the website will be done. Some of the changes will take more time and money than I have previously allotted. For example, I want to hire a photographer but I'll also need someone to do hair and makeup. And, perhaps, buy new outfits. All of those are worthy investments. I just haven't done them yet.

The other things that need to be finished require that I make important decisions---about the site's purpose, my mission, and the services I plan to offer. I've dedicated this summer to figuring all of this out. It's only mid-July. I still have time.

So, why am I posting? Why have I invited you all to my site while it's still a mess? One reason is that I needed a challenge for July.

I do (almost) monthly challenges to jumpstart habits or to focus on something I haven't prioritized but would like to. I've done self-care challenges, exercise challenges, and listening to new music challenges. I used a monthly challenge when I wanted to become a morning person and when I wanted to walk daily. Now, I want to step into the identity of a writer and write daily. My coach always says, "Writers write." If I'm serious about writing, I need to do it.

Now I know I'm not writing anything profound right now. Publishing daily doesn't really lend itself to profundity. But I'm developing a habit of writing through practice and accountability.

I'm also developing the habit of silencing perfectionism. By not waiting until the site was perfect, I'm teaching myself that I don't have to be shut down by the fear of judgment of my imperfect circumstances. By not giving myself time to edit, scrap, and start over in an endless loop, I'm teaching myself that what I do is good enough.

One of the precepts in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is "Always do your best." It would be easy to mistake that as a call to perfectionism or overworking. Yet, Ruiz states that your best changes from moment to moment. Your best is not a fixed location.

My best will be better after a good night's sleep or a stimulating conversation than it will be with a headache or when I'm hungry. Either way, I'm learning that my best is good enough. Besides, I can always do my best again the next day.

So, bear with me. You'll see some changes in the coming weeks. I'm going to do some cleaning now even though the guests are already here. I know that's a bit of a faux pas. But I promise to be a pretty good host nonetheless.

Categories: : Writing